School's Out
Prior to receiving the Holy Ghost in June of l978, I had spent the previous four years working on a Master's Degree in Vocal Performance with a year in the midst on the road singing professional opera. By the fall of l978, I had completed all the course work for the degree with only the thesis and oral exams to remain. In fact, I had already spent some time on the thesis off and on during the previous year, but I really had not seriously pursued the finality of the degree because I was involved in numerous promising performance engagements. However, after receiving the Holy Ghost, I thought, and I emphasize, "I", surely God would expect me to finish the Master's Degree. Well, for the next year, I wrestled with writing the paper. I would have a meeting about every three weeks with the major professor about a new portion of the paper, and after the meeting, my paper would literally appear to have been through a blood bath. Then, Kathy went with me to a meeting with the professor, and lo and behold, he said the paper was much better and hardly marked it at all. The next time I returned, however, he not only red marked the new portion, but he went back and marked some previous approved material!! It was absolutely incredible!! I jokingly told Kathy, "I need to take you with me, so this professor will pass my paper". Ha! I trust you understand, although you may not approve of my writing here, I had never previously had any problem in English or with any writing assignment throughout my entire school career. We really considered the devil surely was opposing me, although since this was in the early stages of my Christian walk, I really didn't totally understand that.
By the summer of l979, Kathy and I were married, and other considerations and responsibilities were taking precedence. Yet, I kept thinking, "I have got to finish this degree." It was then recommended by the professor that I may need to get an English tutor. Now, I had never had a tutor for anything in my life, but I decided to humble myself. I was given the best English tutor in the department, a graduate assistant, who told me after several sessions, "There is nothing wrong with this paper!", and she would change just a few words of vocabulary to add some variety to the writing. Jack Turquette, who minored in English, also proofed the paper more than once. Even Doyle reread it for me, and all of them said they saw nothing wrong with it. So, I would take it to the professor, and he would obliterate the paper in red ink. It began to be very discouraging, and I began to ask God, "What is wrong here?" In the fall of l979, I finally saw clearly the answer after I was told that I needed to take another course to keep from losing status toward the degree, because of length of time it had taken to complete the degree. Further, this course was only offered at 11:00 a.m. during the week, and by now I was working full time during the day to support a new household. It began to be apparent it may not be the will of God for me to continue in school and finish the Master's Degree. Earlier, I stated "I" thought God wanted me to finish the degree, but actually, I never really asked him what he wanted. I just assumed he approved. After all, the majority of the world tells us every one needs to attend college, but how many do we hear say that we need to ask God about school or for that matter about anything, especially if we are already in it, and we have been successful at it, and everyone approves? Well, all of the above are wrong because Jesus, our example, said in John 5:19,
"The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise."
Also in verse 30 he says,
"I can of mine own self do nothing:" and "I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me"
Further, he says in John 15:5,
"without me ye can do nothing."
I'm not telling you it was easy to accept immediately, because it wasn't. I could understand God not wanting me to get involved in many of the world's activities, but school? Well, I soon swallowed my pride, and that's all it was, humbled myself, went to the major professor, and proclaimed, "I quit!!" He was absolutely astonished, but to my amazement, I was full of peace and joy, and it was as though the weight of the entire world had been lifted off of my shoulders. To this day, I have not missed it, regretted it, nor needed it one bit, because it was obedience unto God. If Jesus is our Lord, he expects us to obey him and do the will of the Father. So, if we want to attend college or do any thing, we need to ask God what he wants us to do! Again Jesus said in John 8:29,
"for I do always those things that please him."
(the Father), and Hebrews 11:6 states,
"without faith, it is impossible to please him:"
So, Jesus obviously walked in faith to please God. He is our example, and when we walk in faith like Jesus, we will only please the Father too. Praise God!!